I vow never to go there again…

If you fall and bruise your knee you can always guarantee there will be someone there with a bandaid, a headache? A Tylenol, what about depression? Oh come on get over it. No one understands that depression is a serious illness that can effect anyone. In today’s society there are more than enough reasons to be depressed, yet this painful illness gets little or no attention, most times overlooked.

I remembered all too well as there were days  when I could hardly get out of bed. The worst was when friends that normally saw me as this bubbly, happy, full of life person started to disappear. There was no one to talk to, no support at all.

So how did I cope?

I am a fun- person, I am overall a positive person, I love life, and I love to smile. Depression robbed me of this, it felt like it took me away from me.  I had to fight to get me back. It was clear that depression wasn’t giving up so easily. What I hated most about depression was the  sick old ‘stinking thinking’ over and over, the same old crappy thoughts in my head. I wasn’t a person that stuck to doing the same things over and over again. My personality was more of ‘ an all over the place type’ so this record player that felt like it was stuck had to go…

I attempted to get help, but since I hate to be medicated, that didn’t work. My doctor who was the sweetest man I met decided that I should do more of the things I liked to do and less of the things I didn’t. Well I liked travelling to my country, I love swimming in the blue ocean. I loved sitting by my friend’s Bar in Barbados. I love South Florida. I love walking along Federal Highway in Hollywood, Florida. I love writing. I love books. So I did all the things I love.

I would read loads of books, and write and write, and travel back and forth to my country, and take as many trips to South Florida as possible. All of this proved to work for me, all of this made me feel alive again. I was too busy moving to notice that broken record player trying to get back into my mind…..

But it did. It would show up every now and then.

Then one day I was listening to a YouTube video by Joel Osteen, and he said , ‘ you got to start talking back to those thoughts, you have to start speaking life into your situation, you have to start speaking to that depression, you have to evict that depression from out of your mind…’

That did it for me….right away I started to change what I was speaking about myself, what I was thinking about myself, I started telling others ‘I used to be depressed’ That was a thing of the past. I realized that my mind would try to get the best of me when I was alone so I would find books to read or things to do, or places to go. Being isolated is something depression loves.  Not just being alone, but isolated, then it can sneak up on you. Knowing your triggers is very important. Keeping a journal and documenting what those triggers are can help a lot with your healing.

I would never advise anyone to deal with the depression my way as I am not by any means a Therapist, as depression is a very serious Mental illness and needs to be treated by a Physician.

I now have my smile back and some days I may feel abit down as I choose to say, but ‘Depressed’ that’s a thing of the past….please share with me your story on depression and how you overcome it.








Living with a room-mate half my age….

Meet Gahbae, she is young, sassy and so sweet. Gahbae is Trinidadian. This is my room-mate, a younger version of myself. We met via Craig’s-list and hit it off right away.

Gahbae came to NewYork to pursue her music career. She is a great musician. Look out Rhianna, ( my little niece). Rhianna is Bajan like myself and I think of her as my niece. Gahbae has the same free- spiritedness as Rhianna and will definitely bring a freshness and brightness to the Music Industry.

Sometimes I think of Gahbae as my daughter. I remember one night she had a gig in New- York city, I slept most of the night, and  woke up about 5am, I looked in her room but she was not there. I begun to panic, but reminded myself that Gahbae was grown, and she was not my daughter.

However, as 10 am approached, I got worried, I picked up the phone and called. Gahbae answered in her deep Trinidadian accent. “Hi Gil, I hay in de studio, I decided to drop by, haha.” That ended my worries. For sure Gahbae knows how to care for herself. She was 25 yrs old, alone in this big city but not at all timid or withdrawn.

This took me back to when I was 18 years old, standing in the middle of Frankfurt Airport, looking all around for my host family. This was my first stint of being an Aupair and being away from home for a long period. I had travelled before to England where I visited relatives, but this was different. I was going to stay with strangers.

This airport was huge compared to the little Grantley Adams Airport in my Island Barbados. It was useless trying to communicate with anyone. I didn’t speak an ounce of the German Language. I waited abit and up came Madeleine and Mr. Kratzenberg, the family I was going to be staying with. I had met them at the Glitter Bay Hotel where I worked in Barbados and was happy to introduce them to my mom. My mom was abit hesitant about allowing me to go to Germany with these strangers but she knew I was capable of taking care of myself and being an Aupair would be easy as I love kids, being the eldest of 5.

In this moment living with Gahbae introduced me to my younger self. We had so many fun moments. I encouraged Gahbae to work on her career and not get caught up with falling in love as this could be such a distraction. I was so busy living life, being free- spirited and travelling, that later at 25 when I was married, I thanked God that I had those younger years to look back on.

Having a younger roommate full of life, asking for opinions on which half- naked outfit she should wear or hearing her dating woes, or even reminding her to eat filled me with great joy in this season of my life. Go Gahbae, follow your dreams, never ever giving up. Please visit


Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.      Harriett Beecher Stowe