Getting to Happy…..The Real…..


“Yes we fight, yes we are normal, but we do respect and love each other.”
I listened attentively as my friend Sophia explained the relationship between herself and her two sisters. Her eldest sister, on her way back to New York  had dropped in at the hotel here on Miami Beach for a quick hug.

‘Priceless’ ….I looked away smiling to myself, racing thoughts of my own relationship with my three sisters flooded my mind. Being the oldest gave me a heartfelt sense of responsibility, yet admiration for my sisters.

imageEach one of them have their own uniqueness with very strong personalities, but Cathy the one after me and Nat, the youngest were never a force to be reckon with. They both shared many similarities like our mom. They love cooking, shopping and traveling.
Marcel the middle child, ‘Mystic Butterfly’ is the show stopper. She is very adventurous, creative and loves fashion, entertaining and decorating. Her biggest struggle is having to deal with three very over- protective sisters. ( Not to mention our little brother Jason).
A sister-ly relationship is a special one, it can be at times annoying, at times a love- hate one. Tumultuous, emotional, a constant battle, female hormones all over the place. Phone hang ups, screaming matches, but who knows you better than your sister.

imageI just got off the phone with Marcel, we recently shared the same living room space for 6 months while caring for our mom. It was a crazy, sad, exciting, terrible time for us. I really miss her. Here I am once again intruding into her private life, always highly opinionated’… I laughed half- loud to myself… thinking ‘poor soul’ how does she ever manages with sisters like us. I pictured her hanging up the phone with a sigh of relief….For sure she knows she is loved….

imageWe were very close as children growing up. We played amongst each other and were always there for each other. As adults, oftentimes too busy with our own families, it was somewhat difficult making time for each other. We had drifted apart. Mom’s death, the ultimate blow left us looking to each other for answers, comfort and support. The saying ‘what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger’ definitely applies here. It’s during this difficult time that I can agree, we got so much closer, our sisterly relationship grew stronger.

Recently, Nat and I spent some time in Miami, with Reina, Nat’s daughter. It was beautiful. The four of us sisters now have plans to travel, spend more time together, and to be there for each other. The love we have and the bond we now share, sealed by fate is somehow unbreakable. It seems like déjàvu. It reminds me, as I reminisce of when we were younger, and only had each other……


#Getting to happy, #mindsetmakeover

image#mummy little girls


Letting go…..

I stumbled upon a pair of silver bangles that once were my moms’. I held them close to my bossom as if it was her hands clinging unto my chest. I decided that I wanted to wear them, but that would mean stripping my left hand with the sacred beads from my sister, and removing the gold bracelets, gold necklace and rings. Each piece of jewelry was of value to me. I paused for a brief second contemplating if I really wanted to do this. 

‘Do I really want to detach myself from these valuable pieces?’ Detachment….’when did I ever got attached to anything?’…..

I hurriedly removed each piece, stored them safely away and placed mother dearest bangles on my left wrist, a not so silver ring on my finger, and another silverish piece on my right hand. I tightened the clasp of the necklace around my neck, this piece with an emerald stone was  simple yet beautiful.  No amount of diamond nor gold outweighed the value of each of these pieces, all from my mom’s collection…I must remain free, free from attachment I thought to myself……

This brought me back to the teachings of Pema Chodron a Tibetan Buddhist monk that I followed over the years. ‘When things fall apart’ is one of her best sellers. ‘Relaxing with Impermanence’ spoke to my soul. It’s here where I learnt the art of detachment. I have found great peace and mindfulness  by her practices and teachings. 

I think it’s important to acknowledge our teachers, mentors, or people that just inspire us. (As much as we would like others to think we are geniuses, the world is filled with many great writers, bloggers, who all learnt from someone.)

As I sit here in the coffee shop admiring the beauty of South Florida, I embrace this beautiful day. My thought for today is ‘Letting go…’ whether it’s a broken promise, false belief, a person, a job or a place that no longer serves us. 

The message at church last Sunday was about Elisha holding unto an ox. Sheryl Brady reminded us that, something like a stupid ox, could have prevented Elisha from following Elijah and receiving God’s blessings. (Not taking away anything from this animal). She asked us to examine our lives and see what ‘stupid thing’ we are holding unto….unfruitful connections, relationships, the company you keep? ‘Stop following stupid’ she reminded us.’ It causes you to compromise, get out of character.’ 

I walked away gaining so much from that sermon, realizing that in every season of my life, there may always be something I have to let go of….

*Ralph Smart@Infinitewaters*