Farewell to my grandmother & A conversation from the other side

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I can only imagine….

From a distance you held it together well
Clothed with confidence and pride
Every now and then the tears flow, but even this was hard to tell
I saw you wiped your eyes
But when I asked you about it
Your face lit up to my surprise
Left with all kinds of questions to ponder
Your life, your legacy, it’s all a blunder
I know there is more than what meets the eye
If only I was there to say that final goodbye….

I waited my child……

Watched, waited, watched every passerby
Seconds turned into minutes, days into weeks
To share my story, of a life filled with many defeats
What you see is the fragments of a woman
A wife, a mother, a person scarred and torn
Yet day after day with a heavy heart I continued, I kept pressing on
You see a long time ago I begun a quest to find true love
I searched high, I searched low but only found it from above
You see the tears that I cried, I cried for everyone of my children
I wanted to explain myself, wanted to show how much I love every one of them
But weeks became months, months years, I just kept on waiting….

I felt so all alone, but this was the story of my life
I saw the pain each one of you carried, it cut through my heart like a knife
It was never intentional, I had to abandon you to save me,
It was a continuous fight for my life, a fight for my sanity…..

Say no more grandma
For I too walked that familiar road
I saw the whispers, sneers and jeers while I carried that same heavy load
Many times over to save myself I had to run,
Sometimes I didn’t even know how or where to turn
Yet day after day, I kept pressing on
I too searched for love in all the wrong places
I even took some chances with a few familiar faces
My choices would always lead me back to the place I started
Scrambling to pick up the pieces, wounded and more broken hearted
I hope my kids would one day understand I never meant to hurt them
I tried to put an end to my own misery, torture and emotional suffering….

Well my granddaughter, I am sorry your path was similar to mines
I prayed and asked that my kids would one day understand me
Life happens my child, the sorrow, joy, pain, hurts, it’s apart of ones’ destiny
I was just the vehicle that brought them into this world
It’s up to them now to seek first the kingdom of God, and save their own soul
They will need lots of Faith, trust, and learn to practice forgiveness
They must remove from their life envy, jealousy, resentment, hatred, anger and malice
The time has come for this family to come together
They must find a way to get rid of all bitterness and learn to love one another

I was the last one, now I have departed
Someone must finish what was started
Someone must pray, stand guard and continue this family legacy
It was a very long road my children, Sometimes sad and lonely
Today my spirit is here with you, today I ask for unity
Let the healing begin, I made it, I fought a good fight, my journey is complete
I finally found true love, the kind I was looking for
Be encouraged my love ones
I found a friend in Jehovah,
He proved to be all I needed and much much more…

R.I.P Ann E. Jordan

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My mom & myself….May 2016

2 thoughts on “Farewell to my grandmother & A conversation from the other side

  1. Interesting how the intangibles stay with us much longer than the tangibles…..No, you can’t hug a memory, but memories keep us alive and living…..Our dreams sustain us….Yet the material things are given life by us..They are as important as we make them…

    Liked by 1 person

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