The Lucky Warrior

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The Lucky Warrior

Impermanence

With wide hips she stood tall
Slaying everything that came her way
Neither running or dodging trials
She knew every lesson was preparation for that day
With trembling hands clasped she would kneel and pray
Never a why me, instead a why not me?
Like a veteran actress, skillful with each role she got
As the curtains closed, lights, cameras, actions, always giving her best shot

Embracing life’s pitfalls, standing on solid ground
If only she had got it the first time around
Life lessons won’t need to be resurrected
Every act of love isnt always reciprocated.

The  warrior dances to the beat of her own drum

Dazzles and shines in her make belief costume
Filled with timeless wisdom and divine power
This is the true nature of a prayer warrior.

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She does it her way,
Never taking for granted a new choice she has to make
Dying to give birth to a better way
Following the footsteps of phenomenal women
Lives shattered but not broken by long suffering
It’s all a wonder, how they conquered, such a mystery
Survival for this warrior is a true testimony
Filled with strength, resilience,
Marching hand in hand with impermanence
Some call her brave heart, some  say carefree
Some like to say this warrior is just lucky…

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All original material by Sunshinesoulsister

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Farewell to my grandmother & A conversation from the other side

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I can only imagine….

From a distance you held it together well
Clothed with confidence and pride
Every now and then the tears flow, but even this was hard to tell
I saw you wiped your eyes
But when I asked you about it
Your face lit up to my surprise
Left with all kinds of questions to ponder
Your life, your legacy, it’s all a blunder
I know there is more than what meets the eye
If only I was there to say that final goodbye….

I waited my child……

Watched, waited, watched every passerby
Seconds turned into minutes, days into weeks
To share my story, of a life filled with many defeats
What you see is the fragments of a woman
A wife, a mother, a person scarred and torn
Yet day after day with a heavy heart I continued, I kept pressing on
You see a long time ago I begun a quest to find true love
I searched high, I searched low but only found it from above
You see the tears that I cried, I cried for everyone of my children
I wanted to explain myself, wanted to show how much I love every one of them
But weeks became months, months years, I just kept on waiting….

I felt so all alone, but this was the story of my life
I saw the pain each one of you carried, it cut through my heart like a knife
It was never intentional, I had to abandon you to save me,
It was a continuous fight for my life, a fight for my sanity…..

Say no more grandma
For I too walked that familiar road
I saw the whispers, sneers and jeers while I carried that same heavy load
Many times over to save myself I had to run,
Sometimes I didn’t even know how or where to turn
Yet day after day, I kept pressing on
I too searched for love in all the wrong places
I even took some chances with a few familiar faces
My choices would always lead me back to the place I started
Scrambling to pick up the pieces, wounded and more broken hearted
I hope my kids would one day understand I never meant to hurt them
I tried to put an end to my own misery, torture and emotional suffering….

Well my granddaughter, I am sorry your path was similar to mines
I prayed and asked that my kids would one day understand me
Life happens my child, the sorrow, joy, pain, hurts, it’s apart of ones’ destiny
I was just the vehicle that brought them into this world
It’s up to them now to seek first the kingdom of God, and save their own soul
They will need lots of Faith, trust, and learn to practice forgiveness
They must remove from their life envy, jealousy, resentment, hatred, anger and malice
The time has come for this family to come together
They must find a way to get rid of all bitterness and learn to love one another

I was the last one, now I have departed
Someone must finish what was started
Someone must pray, stand guard and continue this family legacy
It was a very long road my children, Sometimes sad and lonely
Today my spirit is here with you, today I ask for unity
Let the healing begin, I made it, I fought a good fight, my journey is complete
I finally found true love, the kind I was looking for
Be encouraged my love ones
I found a friend in Jehovah,
He proved to be all I needed and much much more…

R.I.P Ann E. Jordan

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My mom & myself….May 2016

Reflections… (Republishing since mom is now gone…..)

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Yesterday I celebrated my birthday. I spent the day with my mom and it really was the best birthday present I could ever hope for. There weren’t any gifts to unwrap, no icing falling off the sides of a cake. Just the precious touch of her fragile hands as I held them tightly wishing silently that this moment would last forever…..

I was happy to spend this time with her, reflecting on my childhood, and being blessed with the best mom a child could ask for. Earlier that morning I questioned her about her kind of love for her kids. How was it possible for her to ever give so much love to us, our friends and everyone she met. How did someone that basically raised herself and never knew love have so much to give?

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I was happy to hold unto my mom’s hand yesterday. I am happy to be able to comfort my mom as she prepares to bury her own mom. Her Queen, as she stated, her precious flower, her everything was now lying in a morgue. My relationship with my mom has been a very tumultuous one in my adult years. My mom’s relationship with her mom was the opposite. Yet I can proudly say I had the best mom in the world. My mom shared with me the ‘Dear God’ letters she wrote over the years begging for her mom to return from England to her…..and God surely brought her back. My mom had embraced her mom once they reunited. Thoughts of abandonment were replaced by forgiveness and years of love and sheer bliss shared between mom and daughter.

Me: ‘So mom how did you learn to love so much. ? Where did this love come from? This forgiveness, this kindness……?’

Mom: ‘Jesus, he loved me without limits, there is no greater love than his, he taught me how to love.’

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As I reflect on my life, and gaze into the mirror of my own soul it’s important that I am authentic and living and practicing my own truths, that my value system is based on love and respect for all. It’s important that I always forgive others, and keep forgiving. It’s my prayer to love like my mom, to have that kind of  Jesus love for all….Please enjoy these images below of ‘Beautiful Barbados’ maybe there is someone out there you need to reach out to, so that when you reflect on your own life ‘people will matter more than things’…

R.I.P Grandmother

RIP mom…

 

‘Your Perception’…..is it hurting you?

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‘Thoughts are things’ : Prentice Mulford

For many years I have struggled with ‘Perception’. It never mattered what others said, I would always interpret and process the information based on my own feelings, false beliefs or distorted truths. This has been a constant struggle. Here are some teachings I found interesting and helpful while doing the ‘work’ on myself.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel.  

This is a must have book. Each agreement is vital to developing a healthy mental image. I stumbled on this book years ago and I have incorporated it into my daily living. The agreements may sound simple but in actuality our mindsets and patterns of thinking weren’t developed overnight. Many of them were shaped from our own emotions, experiences, some good, others bad. It takes lots of discipline and self-development to replace these negative behavior traits with positive ones.

The Third Agreement’ says it all:

imageHave you ever texted someone and waited…… and during the time they took to respond a million thoughts flooded your mind…some not so good ones….then out of the blue that person responded. You could feel their positive energy bursting through the telephone. You felt like a fool, there goes your ‘crazy, stinking thinking‘  They were busy and not ignoring your message, Your thoughts were sooo far from the truth. I have done this sooo many times and it’s still a work in progress. This has happened in relationships, casual as well as business. This way of thinking can be so dangerous and harmful. Once these negative seeds are planted in our minds, they indeed do grow…..

 

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Our perception can cheat us of so much. I have also witnessed people that are such prisoners from their own thoughts and way of seeing things. When dealing with narcissistic people, it’s extremely difficult getting them to admit that they judged you incorrectly. They refuse to give up this way of viewing the world. They passed it unto their kids. This can cause so much suffering in our lives. Spreading lies and damaging people’s reputation have occurred as a result of people’s perceptions. They can build a case on someone from their own thinking. It’s important for me that I now ask questions. It’s necessary to give someone the chance to explain themselves.  I must admit that the battle is indeed in our mind…..

I have used the ‘Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel to change my thinking. I try my best to be ‘Impeccable With My Word’….I no longer ‘Take Things Personally’ …..I ‘Dont Make Assumptions’ and ‘I Always Do My Best’…….I stand by these Life- changing Agreements.Hope this helps someone…..

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“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” 

― Wayne W. Dyer

 

SSS

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