Why are you always unhappy?



Life happens…..life will always happen…..

Nothing ever stays the same.

According to blogger Tamar Star, 7 habits of  Chronically unhappy people, “40 percent of our capacity for happiness is within our power to change.” Her # 7th habit is “unhappy people like to live in the past.” This is so true. My life is far from perfect but I am always dreaming of better and holding unto the belief that somehow things will work themselves out. I refuse to stay in a state of sadness, regret, complaining and speaking about negativity.

Unhappy people are constantly looking for ways to become upset, they are easily offended. The slightest thing sends them in a downward spiral, that they gladly hold unto. Becoming pissed off is their daily goal. They use anyone and anything to reach this goal, then they point blame. They seem to give off this contagious energy, always searching for the next victim.

One of my favorite books ‘When things fall part’ by Pema Chodron  teaches us that:

“Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both. Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected. But if that’s all that’s happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction. On the other hand, wretchedness–life’s painful aspect–softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody’s eyes because you feel you haven’t got anything to lose–you’re just there. The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. We’d be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn’t have enough energy to eat an apple. Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together.” Pema Chondron


I have learnt how to recognize  the patterns of anger, blame, and self- hatred. I know what triggers these emotions and I work diligently to guard my spirit. Circumstances will change, some without any warning. I stay on high alert, keeping negativity and toxic people away from me. I do understand that at times it’s important for people to vent and get things off their chest, but I refuse to let energy vampires suck the happiness out of my life….I refuse to be anything but happy..


Images @ Barbados March 2016



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