Another R.I.P…..

 

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I saw a beautiful pic of a young lady, could be late 30’s or early 40’s on a friend’s whattsapp. As I scrolled down underneath I saw the words ‘R.I.P’.…Thoughts about my own life and the  many moments, the good and the bad came into my mind. I have learnt so much from doing dumb sh***t.…that  I can’t imagine not having these valuable experiences.

‘What I want to be remembered by?’ was the first phrase that came into my mind….I sighed…..I felt like I was programmed or domesticated to think this way…what about the life I now live? What about the memories I am creating for myself?

Am I really living?

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Am I enjoying everyday and embracing what that day brings?

Am I attracting the same old circumstances as a result of a mind that replays the same old stuff daily?

Am I living in the past?

Am I living in the now?

Am I going after my own dreams or someone’s else?

Am I living the path my parents chose for me or following their own dreams?

Am I being authentic or a fake?

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I want to always smile, I love being happy……

My philosophy on life is :

‘It will always work itself out’

‘And this too shall pass’

What about you and your life? Are you just concerned with the memories you leave behind and how society measures success?’ Or are you living, learning, messing up, getting back up after doing the same ole’ dumb crap that you swear you had outgrown?  Dating the same ole’ ‘Mr. or Mrs emotional unavailable?’  and forgiving yourself all over again….

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I dare you to get back up…..if that didn’t work even after you have given it your all…try one more time….maybe this time you will get it right….

I dare you to live….

SSS

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Thunder

 

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I hear a sound
Where is it coming from?
Is it my own mind?
Lots of noises, mumbling
Once in a while a ringing
Gossiping, complaining,
Are they fighting?
I keep hearing

I hear noises
I hear voices
Loud banging
Car doors slamming
Is that someone swearing
It’s getting louder
I pressed my ears as it gets closer
I get it, they are shouting Hallelujah

Thank you father
I adore you shouts another
Lord you saved me
Lord you delivered me
Praise his name
Bless his name
You are the most high
You are the Almighty
The great I am
The Rose of Sharon

The bright morning star
You are the Lilly of the valley
You are the Prince of peace
In temptation You are my strong tower
Oh Lord you give unto my soul the power
All blessings, all grace, all mercy
It all belongs to you father

Oh how this sweet sound fills my soul
It replaced all the confusion I was feeling before
Those voices sounded so comforting
So pleasant to hear what they were saying
So peaceful, beautiful, so amazing
I long to know more about this Father
They are praising and worshipping

Now I am all excited
Something inside of me ignited
I cannot live this way any longer
Take those things away, that unseen danger
That defeating sound, roars louder than thunder
Quench this thirst, this hunger, this burning desire
My life I lay it down oh God, to you I surrender…

SS

An original poem by me….

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Saturday Sunsets

 

image.jpgBarbados Sunsets 2016

IMPERMANENCE have taught me that nothing stays the same. There is a season for everything under the sun. Sunsets are awesome, they are the ending of a beautiful day. To me I think of the magical transition of a season….

Accepting the seasons of life is sometimes challenging . A heartbreak can be so painful, but in order to meet the ideal mate, you have to let go of the one that’s wrong for you. That job you are hoping for cannot enter your life once you are holding unto that one you keep complaining about. Transitions, changes, it can be all scary. Most of the time it’s after you dare to take that leap of faith, that you experience the joy that was missing from your life….Be encouraged today….step out….I dare you to live life!

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‘Ladies Loving Life’

SSS

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Updated….more Barbados Sunsets April 2016

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Woman

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Woman

Mama over there
She rises everyday
Her body aches, her soul bleeds
So many mouths to feed

She angrily packs his lunch
Hoping one day they will take turns
Mama wipes the tears from her eyes
Replaced them with a smile
She longs for a better life
Something better than being his wife

Her thoughts want to go there
Mama remembers the words of her own mama
You were destined for greatness, the head and not the tail, above and not beneath
So why am I imprisoned
Feeling guilty for what reason
Subjected to lies, abuse, his anger, tired of hurting
I take the blame for not waiting.
Mama holds her head in shame….

I want more for you
Mama spins around
Was that her own thoughts, who made that sound?
Abide in me, trust in me,
I created you, made you in my own image
Woman I placed the desire for love in you
Someone who shares his love and  cherish you too

Your choices are not what I had in mind
Seek me first, and that special person you will find.
Let me mold you, take away your pain
I did it before, I can do it again.

I will wipe your slate clean
Give you a brand new start,
Come to me my precious child
Allow me in woman, let me heal your broken heart.

An original  poem written by me… April 2016

SSS

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Friends & Family….

 

RFH_WordCloud2‘Just as the river never forgets that it’s goal is the sea, so friendship never forgets that it’s only reason for existing is to love people.’ Paulo Coelho

I was thinking about this subject, then out of the blue I got an email from a fellow blogger, a book review of ‘ The Importance of Friendship and Family in the Elvyverse & Beyond’ by Barb Caffrey. Her and her late husband, Author Michael B Caffrey, created  characters that didn’t exactly have traditional families to call upon. Together they wrote the fantastic Elvyverse series. Check out their blog at Elvyverse.wordpress.com.

This brought me back to the many friends I had that made my family their own. I grew up the eldest of five children. Though we came from a very huge family, something we didn’t find out until we were much older, it was just my four siblings, mom, dad a few relatives and myself in the earlier days. My mom was a very strong woman who put her kids first. We always felt loved. Her entire focus and life surrounded us. Our home was a safe haven to many of our friends who had no way to go. Once they became apart of our family, mom treated them the same she did her own kids. This went on for many years, friends came and friends went, but they always felt loved when they came to our home.

Recently, I have been reflecting on my own childhood, my family, and the many friends that came in and out of my life. I was very fortunately to have love. Sometimes I must admit I took this all for granted. Even though my family was a very close knit one when we were younger, as an adult I became more of a loner and drifted away on my own.

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However  I do agree that having great family and friends around is very important. It can be heart- breaking when some friendships turn sour or end abruptly. This is a sharp reminder that we should never take our relationships for granted. There are many lonely people out there, but I have also met so many wonderful people that treated me far better than some family members. Love is universal and having love in our lives is necessary. I do share the opinion with the Author Michael B. Caffrey and his wife Barb Caffrey that we can create non traditional families and sometimes have the same joy and experiences with others as we would our own families.

Let’s cherish the people in our lives, whether they are family or not. Everyone shows up in our lives for a reason, some only for a season….

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SSS

To my sons K&K…..will always love u….mom

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Tuesday April 12th…Holetown Barbados…

 

Why you should guard your spirit!

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Holetown St. James Barbados 2016

I once heard a Pastor stated while preaching a sermon that when some people show up in our lives we should ask  who sent them. He explained that at times it seems as though they are on a direct assignment to break you. I have witnessed this myself and have tried to be very careful  when choosing and allowing people into my life. I think it’s very important the company you keep. Surrounding myself with people who inspire, motivate and bring out the best in me is very important. Also knowing the role they play, and who to share personal information about myself is important.

People can appear to be very genuine but have terrible intentions. They can be so crafty and tactful in hiding their true nature until you have let your guard down and allowed them front row seats into your life. Then after you have confided in them, oftentimes this is the same ammunition they will use to attempt to destroy you.

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Every woman should have a true best friend, a lifelong partner. The kind of relationship that have weathered many storms. Not just someone who hangs around during the good times and disappear when the seas are rough. That person that loves you unconditionally.

However we must set boundaries and not over share too much of ourself. Its through my own experiences that I have learnt this. Having things thrown back in your face from someone you made a confidante can definitely hurt you. Now I have mastered the task of guarding my own spirit……

SSS

“It was a mistake,” you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.”
― David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary

Why are you always unhappy?

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Life happens…..life will always happen…..

Nothing ever stays the same.

According to blogger Tamar Star, 7 habits of  Chronically unhappy people, “40 percent of our capacity for happiness is within our power to change.” Her # 7th habit is “unhappy people like to live in the past.” This is so true. My life is far from perfect but I am always dreaming of better and holding unto the belief that somehow things will work themselves out. I refuse to stay in a state of sadness, regret, complaining and speaking about negativity.

Unhappy people are constantly looking for ways to become upset, they are easily offended. The slightest thing sends them in a downward spiral, that they gladly hold unto. Becoming pissed off is their daily goal. They use anyone and anything to reach this goal, then they point blame. They seem to give off this contagious energy, always searching for the next victim.

One of my favorite books ‘When things fall part’ by Pema Chodron  teaches us that:

“Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both. Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected. But if that’s all that’s happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction. On the other hand, wretchedness–life’s painful aspect–softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody’s eyes because you feel you haven’t got anything to lose–you’re just there. The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. We’d be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn’t have enough energy to eat an apple. Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together.” Pema Chondron

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I have learnt how to recognize  the patterns of anger, blame, and self- hatred. I know what triggers these emotions and I work diligently to guard my spirit. Circumstances will change, some without any warning. I stay on high alert, keeping negativity and toxic people away from me. I do understand that at times it’s important for people to vent and get things off their chest, but I refuse to let energy vampires suck the happiness out of my life….I refuse to be anything but happy..

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Images @ Barbados March 2016

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SSS

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